New Years Eve 2006

New Years Eve 2006

I hereby swear that I have recounted this story with as much accuracy as possible. I have gotten the input from multiple people involved and have pieced it together thusly:

It was December 31^st, 2006. New Years Eve. I was still in Ann Arbor which was relatively dead since most people were back home. Since I lived relatively close by I was obviously going to spend New Years Eve partying with college buddies. During the day me and Captain T went to the Pistons game. We had ridiculously good seats for what turned out to be a less than competitive game. Chauncey Billups was out for the Pistons, and at that time his number one back up was Bobby Brown body double Flip Murray. Flip actually played a decent game but the Pistons still were beaten pretty soundly.

When the game ends we hurry to the parking lot with anticipation of all the drinking in store for us that evening. As soon as we walk outside we discover that it’s absolutely pouring with rain. I’m talking that sheet rain that makes you feel like you’re wading through a lake. It’s still late afternoon/early evening, but we are still dismayed because it looks like the rain is going to delay us from our drinking. As soon as I get on the highway I begin driving like a maniac. Captain T actually leaned the passenger seat back in attempt to sleep through the whole ordeal. I have visibility to about my front bumper and I’m weaving through traffic and doing a little over the speed limit (this was quite a feat as most people were going 15+ under the speed limit). I’m not a man to be bothered by rain when there is holiday scale drinking in store. I make ridiculous time back to Ann Arbor, and since it’s raining I just park at Captain T’s house which at that time was about 5 blocks away from where I lived.

Myself, Captain T, The Silo, Uncle Burgundy, and other assorted awful human beings congregate at Captain T’s house and begin to drink heavily. To our best guess this begins about 8:00 p.m. I am practically guzzling Monster House (For those who don’t know, this is a combination of Monster Energy Drink and Canada House Whiskey. Every time you take a sip a part of your soul dies along with your liver). This trend continues until approximately 10:45 when we decide it’s now time to go to the bar. Due to the seriously reduced numbers in town, only one of the bars on the main college drag is open so the choice is simple. We go in, meet other people we know there, and end up with a group of about 20 people. We get there, everybody buys the biggest drinks they can get in both beer and liquor and bring them back to the table. One of my last few memories before the Monster House completely set in was seeing Captain T sitting at our groups table with approximately 8-10 pitchers of beer and 4-5 bowls of mixed drink. Despite all the beverage on the table and the coats littering the chairs around the table Captain T is sitting alone punishing beverage. He seems quite happy about this so I leave him be.

It was right around this time that I realized SweaterBazookas was at the bar. The very last memory I have of that night is attempting to dance with her right before midnight…

…I wake up the next day in my room. SB obviously had come back with me although I don’t recall walking back at all. It’s already noon the next day and so I jump out of bed and rush over to Captain T’s house to watch the Rose Bowl. As I’m approaching T’s house I stop completely dead in my tracks. My car is no longer parked in front of his house. I’m still relatively drunk at this point so the only conceivable thing it could be in my head is that it was stolen. Of course I’d left my phone at my place and nobody was answering my knocks at the door so I had to go back to my place. As I’m walking up to my door I freeze in my tracks again. There’s my car, sitting in the parking lot next to the building where I always park (and perfectly straight between the lines). I walk inside, and get my phone. I have a voicemail from Uncle Burgundy which is along the lines of “Aryan, its like 12:30 and nobody knows where you went”.

I get back to Captain T’s house (driving of course), I walk in and tell people about my car and ask if they know how it got from point A to point B. Unfortunately not a single person I went to the bar with saw me leave or who I left with. I went upstairs to the bathroom and vomited and came down and resumed drinking and watching football…

…several days later I managed to get in touch with SB who confirmed that we left the bar and walked all the way back to Captain T’s house to get my car (despite the fact that I lived closer to the bar than he did). I then proceeded to drive what was according to her “about 5 miles an hour” the 5 blocks back to my house. Thank Christ there weren’t any police in that general area at the time, I couldn’t afford a DUI then, or ever.

Another interesting aside: we got white castle later that day and it made me ill for a week.

-The Aryan