WHAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW!

As the 2008 NFL season gets underway today, I've decided to do some live coverage of the Detroit Lions-Atlanta Falcons game. Being a longtime Lions "fan", I have already prepared myself for a season of mediocrity at best. Live from Atlanta , with your commentators, two guys I've never heard of . Fox definitely sent the Z team to cover this one.

1st quarter

Color guy is already hyping up the improved speed of the Lions secondary....
Michael Turner gets his first carry as a Falcon for a nice 9 yard gain. Turner gets it again on second down for the first down.

Holy fucking shit!.....Matt Ryan just threw his first NFL pass for a touchdown.....62 yard TD strike to Michael Jenkins who out runs the new and "improved" Lions secondary. It's already time to bust out the whiskey. Atlanta 7 Detroit 0

On a side note, when and why in the fuck did Jason Elam leave Denver.

A replay of the touchdown pass shows that the Lions secondary....fucking blows


The Lions stall out on their first drive I really don't feel like talking about it they just didn't do anything of note.

Falcons get the ball back and start at their own 20 yard line. Matt Ryan makes a nice playfake and throws a nice pass to the full back setting up a third and five. Another Ryan strike to Roddy White ensures that the Detroit Lions stay on the field....and then Michael Turner uncorks a 66 yard run, breaking about 56 tackles and the Falcons are up 14-0 , seven minutes into the first quarter. The "What About Right Now" slogan is looking like a great choice as the Lions just discovered that the Falcons are now shitting in their cornflakes. So far, the Lions have made the Falcons look like the 1998 Minnesota Vikings on HGH. Matt Ryan looks like fucking Dan Marino and Michael Turner is averaging 43 yards a carry right now. I have decided to put away the whiskey just because I have shit to do later and this could get sloppy.

The Lions have another 4 play drive and I have decided I am giving them one more series before I switch to the Packe....Jets-Dolphins game on CBS.

Fuck this.......I'm going to the bar until the Browns play... the Lions can't cover OR tackle.... and they get a facemask tacked onto a long Turner run, after missing like 9 tackle attempts... Another touchdown for Atlanta and its 21-0 Falcons.... Congrats to all those who had Michael Turner this week in fantasy football, he has about 20 fantasy points and its not even the second quarter yet.....
I'll be back with my thoughts after I watch two real teams play